Boys

It all started one summer day a few years ago when I looked out my living room window to see my then 5 year old chicken flying through the air.  I took a deep breath and decided to investigate further before making my presence known.  What I saw next sent shivers down my spine, Michael (5) was standing on a old telephone wire spool in the "ready" position, Justin just a few feet from him was sitting on the ground holding a sapling tree top on the ground with his hands, just as I became aware of what was about to happen Michael jumps and Justin lets go and SMACK!!  The tree hits Michael and he goes flying through the air, hits the ground about 10 feet away, stands up, shakes it off, laughs and climbs back on the spool!!  I quickly run outside and tell the boys in my calmest mommy voice I could muster "Please do not do those types of things in front of the living room window." They both stare at me blankly and I state "I know you are boys, I know you are going to do and have done many unsafe things, I just really don't want to witness it first hand, thank you"  They promptly turned the spool on its side and rolled it into the woods before their crazy mom could come to her senses.

That day was not the first I have witnessed boys being, well, boys. In my almost 10 years of rearing boys I have witnessed one or more of my boys:

~Riding bikes into trees purposely.
~Jumping onto a 6 month old.
~"flying" kittens.
~"sledding" down stairs in laundry baskets.
~Dead frogs, skewered (and yes one of my boys knew how to help his poor momma spell that word) turkeys, pockets full of worms, dirt, rocks, and a slimy concoction that I don't even want to know what its origins were.
~ Zip-lining into cement with only a boy holding the other end.
~Shooting arrows at each other
~Locking a boy into a garbage can and rolling him around the yard.
~"flying" brothers.
~Climbing a tree at 3 years of age and getting stuck 30 feet up.
~Jumping off the shed roof
~Jousting
~trying to give each other "shoots" with sharpened shards of wood.
~a 4 year old boy's thumb being crushed.
~ Sandwiching a younger brother in between two mattresses.
~playing dodge-ball with baseballs.

and I have come to one simple conclusion...Don't ask.  Don't ask what they are going to do.  Don't ask if there are sharp objects involved.  Don't ask who is planning on breaking a bone.  Don't ask who will be gushing blood.  Don't ask why they need the first aid kit.  Don't ask how the stick got impaled in their leg.  Don't ask just how they managed to get a black eye when all they said they were gonna do is play Frisbee.  Don't ask.