The Clothing Project

Once again in the grand tradition of "incrediblesmartmothering", I have discovered yet another way to "predict" chicken behavior and possibly make a "preemptive" strike to detour such "chicken ciaos". You may be sitting there and wondering how could any one person have so much knowledge and insight into the lives of chickens. You may even be asking yourself how do I handle all this knowledge and wisdom I have had bestowed upon me. But those are not the things you need to be pondering my friends, no you simply need to ponder this...Why does she not have her PHD yet? and Why is the post office holding it hostage? Those are the things you need to ponder, and maybe right a letter to the post office general, he may be able to help. Any way, moving on to yesterdays study.
In the midst of a crazy Bennett morning I found time to do a simple study. You may be asking yourself "How does she do it? How does she find the time?" and my friends I ask that you keep all questions to yourself until the study has ended, it really is distracting. Thank you. Any way, as I said I preformed another study yesterday, a clothing study, I named it simply "The Clothing Project". So here it is...

THE CLOTHING PROJECT
a study on a chickens inability to clothe oneself
By THE Bethany Bennett

First Subject: A 10 almost eleven year old chicken AKA Brittany
Task Given: To get her jacket from her room as she went to turn out the light.
Assessment: Chicken was unable to furnish a jacket and had forgotten to turn her light off. When asked "Well, what did you do in your room?" she responded simply "IDK". It is apparent that chicken number 1 is entering into the realm of "adolescence" and is not only absent minded, moody and can not complete multiple tasks but has also started speaking in "text". Great.

Second Subject: A 9 year old chicken who's feathers ruffle regularly AKA Justin
Task Given: To get his lunch box and back pack BEFORE he put his shoes on.
Assessment: The Chicken went to put shoes on without getting his pack pack OR his lunch box and it took putting on and taking off said shoes three times before he had both items where they needed to be. It appears that this chicken is only capable of "hearing" when you hold its head in your hands and force him to make eye contact. A task that is hard as he like to peck when you go to hold his little head.

Third Subject: A 6 year old chicken AKA Michael
Task Given: To put on the pants I had laid out for him in front of his dresser.
Assessment: The chicken came out 10 minutes later with sweatpants on that he had furnished from his dirty clothes and stated "I couldn't find the other ones". I then went toward his room and from 6 feet away from his door could see the pants in question laying where I told him they would be. It appears that this chicken cannot function and does not fully awaken until noon.

Fourth Subject: A 5 year old chicken who thinks she is queen AKA Rebekah
Task Given: To put jeans and a shirt with sleeves on her body along with uMMerwear.
Assessment: This chicken returned to the kitchen wearing shorts, a tank top and NO uMMerwear. It is apparent that this chicken will not preform a task unless it is HER idea.

And that my friends was just the tip of the iceberg, I could go on and on but I will stop here as not to overwhelm you with data.