the saga of the shoe

I took a night quill last night. That was my first mistake. I hit the snooze button 3 times this morning. That was my second mistake. I trusted my five year old to do what I told her. That was my third mistake.

This morning we were running late and so as a result my follow through was a little, um, less follow through-ish. As I told my children to get their shoes on I went to start the car and assumed that my children would, well, put their shoes on. They all come out and get in the car and away we went. When we arrived at school I kissed my two eldest children and whipped my youngest chickens face before letting her leave the car I then watched as they happily walked into school after crossing the street. I then go home and go about my normal routine and return to school to pick one little chicken later in the day. When I entered the class room to pick up chicken number 4 I notice that she has shoes on that I do not recognize and I ask...
"Rebekah, who's shoes are those?" Thinking to myself that she must have stolen some poor little girls shoes and I envision in my mind a school yard fight ending with my daughter shoving dirt into this little girls mouth and making her take her shoes off and give them to her.
"She did not have shoes on when she came to school today." Her teacher chimes in snapping me back to reality.
"What?!?!" I ask shocked.
"She did not have shoes on when she came into class today."
Then it sinks in. I sent my child to school without shoes. I dropped my child off at school, watched her get out of the car, walk down the sidewalk, cross the street and go into the school with. no. shoes. on. her. feet. yup, Mom of the year. Mom. of. the. year.

Still MORE conversations with CN4

I have had people (who shall remain nameless) tell me I should write a book. I promptly reply, "as long as the only people who read it can't spell". Any way, after a conversation with Rebekah today I think I really could write a book just on her, so maybe if I ever did write a book it would have to be a series. Any way, moving on to this mornings conversation...
In the car on the way to school...
"Mommy I am gonna look for my turkey friends."
"ok Rebekah"
"mommy I think that I will catch some"
Justin pipes in and says "how are you gonna catch em Bekah?"
"Well, you see since I am a chicken I think they will look at me and think I am cute and then I will grab them and put them in my pack pack."
To this I reply "and then you will take them home?"
"Nope."
"well what then?" I ask dreading the response.
"Well mommy, I think that my friends need to go to school so I will bring them there and they will like it cause my teacher will think I am cute and that the turkeys are my brothers, cause they look like chickens."
"oh I see, so only turkeys are going to school with you?" I ask, knowing better but still I ask.
"Nope. ALL my friends will come with me in my pack pack.....OH LOOK, there is my deer friend Mommy!!! Stop the car so I can catch him with my pack pack."
"Um, Rebekah I think that we had better just keep going, I dont think your teacher would like your friends coming to school."
"HUMPH!! Mommy, she SAID I could bring a show and share today."
WOW, I think bring your woodland friends in to school would be bring the whole "show and share" thing a little too far. Yup that's Rebekah.

and the chickens rejoice

I have always been amazed at the simple things that bring out my chickens personalities and yesterday was no exception. You see, this last week chicken number five turned 1 and there was great excitement, rejoicing, planning, and with one small chicken, great dissension. It went a little something like this...
Chicken number 1 flutterd about wanting to help in just about any way she could, holding CN5, playing with CN5, even assisting CN2 in a little creative "snap circit" building to play "happy birthday". (Thank you Aunt Heidi.)
Chicken number 2 was bouncing off the walls with excitement and asked at least a bagillion times if CN5 was going to get his own cake to "eat really messily.".
Chicken number 3 was his happy little self, just pleased to be involved and willing to do whatever task was presented him.
Chicken number 4 was less than thrilled that the day was about CN5 and not about her. She even went so far as to try to eat her cake with her hands like CN5 was allowed to do.
All in all it was a good day and we had a little blue smurf after the cake eating and after a quick little bath we had a blue tub. Note to self....don't use blue frosting on a one year old's cake...ever...again.

Shots With Rebekah

Today was D-day for one little chicken in my home. Her last shots before she turns 12. A moment I was so very excited for as she like with most things, over reacts to shots, I know surprising to say the least, but we have on our hands a very dramatic chicken. She has been this way from a VERY young age and bofore any of my family tries to blame me I just want to make this clear...I blame her bio-mother. Yup, I said it. Its all her fault, never mind the fact Rebekah has been in my care for the last 4 years 8 months and 10 days. I beleave that in the argument of "Nature vs. Nurture" I can blame "Nature" on this one, please let me live in my delusional world. So, back on track, today was shot day. A day that I have been preparing for the last few weeks, ever since I got that pesky little reminder card in the mail. Stupid mailman. Stupid post office. Why couldnt they have brought my PhD instead? Any how, shots, lets stay on track please. Rebekah has followed the same routine since she was about 9 months old. We enter the nurses office happy and go lucky, we play in the waiting room like nothing is wrong, we follow the nurse back to the room with a smile on our face, we sit in the chair and look around the room, we smile at the nurse, we look at the distracting toy she puts in front of us, we trick Mom into thinking we are not going to scream bloody murder like the time before, and then we see the tray, the ominous tray, and then we start to scream....bloody....murder. Yup, just like that. ALL my other children do not cry or scream till the nurse has actually given the shot or has the needle in her had. Not Rebekah, nope, all she has to see is the tray and she screams bloody murder....kinda like she does when she is coming out of anesthesia. (see anesthesia and me post) Then after another nurse comes in (because they don't believe me when I tell them we WILL need a third set of hands. Why do medical professionals never believe me? Maybe they would if I had my PhD...) to help hold her down and they try to talk softly to her I have to say like a SUPER mean Mom, "Just do it already!" and then they poke her and all is fine, she sits up bats her little eyes and says, "Oh, is it over?". Yup, the queen getting shots is quite the sight to behold. I will give you all fair warning when we get her 12 year shots....I might need a few more hand to hold her down. ARGH!!

The Clothing Project

Once again in the grand tradition of "incrediblesmartmothering", I have discovered yet another way to "predict" chicken behavior and possibly make a "preemptive" strike to detour such "chicken ciaos". You may be sitting there and wondering how could any one person have so much knowledge and insight into the lives of chickens. You may even be asking yourself how do I handle all this knowledge and wisdom I have had bestowed upon me. But those are not the things you need to be pondering my friends, no you simply need to ponder this...Why does she not have her PHD yet? and Why is the post office holding it hostage? Those are the things you need to ponder, and maybe right a letter to the post office general, he may be able to help. Any way, moving on to yesterdays study.
In the midst of a crazy Bennett morning I found time to do a simple study. You may be asking yourself "How does she do it? How does she find the time?" and my friends I ask that you keep all questions to yourself until the study has ended, it really is distracting. Thank you. Any way, as I said I preformed another study yesterday, a clothing study, I named it simply "The Clothing Project". So here it is...

THE CLOTHING PROJECT
a study on a chickens inability to clothe oneself
By THE Bethany Bennett

First Subject: A 10 almost eleven year old chicken AKA Brittany
Task Given: To get her jacket from her room as she went to turn out the light.
Assessment: Chicken was unable to furnish a jacket and had forgotten to turn her light off. When asked "Well, what did you do in your room?" she responded simply "IDK". It is apparent that chicken number 1 is entering into the realm of "adolescence" and is not only absent minded, moody and can not complete multiple tasks but has also started speaking in "text". Great.

Second Subject: A 9 year old chicken who's feathers ruffle regularly AKA Justin
Task Given: To get his lunch box and back pack BEFORE he put his shoes on.
Assessment: The Chicken went to put shoes on without getting his pack pack OR his lunch box and it took putting on and taking off said shoes three times before he had both items where they needed to be. It appears that this chicken is only capable of "hearing" when you hold its head in your hands and force him to make eye contact. A task that is hard as he like to peck when you go to hold his little head.

Third Subject: A 6 year old chicken AKA Michael
Task Given: To put on the pants I had laid out for him in front of his dresser.
Assessment: The chicken came out 10 minutes later with sweatpants on that he had furnished from his dirty clothes and stated "I couldn't find the other ones". I then went toward his room and from 6 feet away from his door could see the pants in question laying where I told him they would be. It appears that this chicken cannot function and does not fully awaken until noon.

Fourth Subject: A 5 year old chicken who thinks she is queen AKA Rebekah
Task Given: To put jeans and a shirt with sleeves on her body along with uMMerwear.
Assessment: This chicken returned to the kitchen wearing shorts, a tank top and NO uMMerwear. It is apparent that this chicken will not preform a task unless it is HER idea.

And that my friends was just the tip of the iceberg, I could go on and on but I will stop here as not to overwhelm you with data.