I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that I had a child that was just like me. In this dream she was 9 years old. I dreamt that I went into her bedchamber to awaken her and she threw a stuffed animal at me. Later when I asked her to get a shower it was met with disdain and when she finally took one it was an hour long. When her little sister was playing in their shared bedroom she whined "Don't play with MY stuffffffff". She looked at me when I asked her to stop reading and go play outside and said "you are so mean." with a flip of her hair. When running up some stairs she fell UP them, and she would randomly fall when just walking from point A to point B. I kept waiting to wake up from this nightmare, I kept fighting to open my eyes, I just needed to get back to reality...when I opened my eyes I realized it was not a dream, I was living in this nightmare!!
So what to do when faced with the very real fact that you have a child who is JUST like me? Well the following is a guide I put together if any of you may find yourself in this very real very scary situation.
1. STAY CALM-This is the most important rule. Children like her feed off of craziness.
2. Remember to breath-If you stop breathing you stop living and if you stop living someone else will have to care for this child through adolescence and you really don't want to do that to anyone.
3. Don't make any sudden movements-Her emotions are fragile and unpredictable, try giving her a play by play as you move about the room.
4. Count your blessing-she can and will at times suck the fun/joy out of any situation, try to remain positive.
5. Eliminate the words "Hate & Never" from your vocabulary-hopefully she will not use these as much if she is not hearing them everyday.
6. Roll with it-when she is on a mountain be on a mountain with her when she is in the depths of despair run FAST!
7. Choose your words wisely-Words such as "what, can, and pickles" can throw her off course, try not to use them.
8. Never, Never, under any circumstances say to her "What are/where you thinking"-she is not thinking, that is the biggest problem here, remember that, ALWAYS!
I hope this helps you, and I will try to heed number 2 so as you will not have to experience this first hand...except for the five of you who lived with me from the years of 7-21, I am sorry. You will NEVER get those years back, never.
September 29, 2009
September 28, 2009
Super Hero Study
So today I had yet another moment where I was wondering where the heck my PHD is. It came when I saw Michael and Rebekah come out of Rebekah's room dressed as super hero's. This is much like the "play dough study" and "anesthesia and me" if you have not had a chance to read those two studies you need to, they are full of so much insight into the mind of a child. Any how, back to the Super Hero Study done today...
Yes I can only imagine what my eldest children's super hero names would be...probably something like "Book Girl" and "Weird Boy". They tell me my PHD is in the mail, I think the post office may be holding it hostage but that is a topic of another blog...
Name: Michael
Age: 5
Personality: Always prepared, wants to please, needs his own space, and cute.
Super Hero Name: Super Pirate Water Guy
Super Powers: He can fly, find buried treasure, and always has water...to put out fires.
Marital Status: Single
Name: Rebekah
Age: 3
Personality: Queen of Sheba, ALL girl, wants to run faster, climb higher, jump farther and pretty much just out "do" anyone.
Super Hero Name: Princess Builder Pretty Girl
Super Powers: I was unable to get a full description from Princess Builder Pretty Girl as to the extent of her powers as she kept telling Super Pirate Water Guy that "After this you will mawry me". This is what I could piece together: The ability to fly, Jump, Stand on one foot, "mawry" Michael, and build stuff, oh and she is pretty.
Marital Status: Seems a bit on the "pushy" side and may be forcing little boys to "mawry" her.
Yes I can only imagine what my eldest children's super hero names would be...probably something like "Book Girl" and "Weird Boy". They tell me my PHD is in the mail, I think the post office may be holding it hostage but that is a topic of another blog...
September 22, 2009
Whove, Twue Whove...
So the other day as I was finishing up school with the two oldest children I see Rebekah come out of her room with her red "sparkly" dress on a hat and a little purse. Thinking she was on her way out to dinner, church, or even just to go shopping I asked "whatcha doing Bekah?" "I'm gonna mawry Michael." I giggle to myself as I see Michael run into his room and close the door. This is the following exchange I hear from his room:
Rebekah knocking on the door...
"Michael, come mawry me"
"Bekah, I am playing cars"
"But Micheal, I need you to mawry me"
"Bekah, I want to play with cars"
(Rebekah states a little more impatiently)
"Michael, you need to come mawry me."
(No answer from Michael)
"Michael, please come mawry me."
(a sigh from in his room, then he opens the door)
"Rebekah, I just want to play cars, I don't want to marry you"
(sad lip pout from Rebekah)
"Michael, why don't you want to mawry me?"
"Bekah, come play cars with me."
"and then you will mawry me?"
(no answer from Michael, but they play happily for a few minutes, then I hear...)
"Michael. Michael. Michael, it IS time to mawry me now"
(Michael comes out of his room and starts walking around the house Rebekah trails him saying...)
"Michael. MICHAEL. MICHAEL, you need to mawry me now. Michael, come mawry me"
(pretty soon Michael comes and hides behind my chair. Rebekah comes to me a few minutes later and says to me...)
"Mommy, wheres Michael?"
"Why?"
"cause he needs to mawry me and I cant find him"
(she finds him under the chair and says in a very mommy type voice...)
"Michael, you need to mawry me, its time."
"OK, Bekah, but then we go play cars k?"
So a few minutes later I hear Justin preforming the ceremony saying...
"Do you want to marry him? Do you want to marry her? k your married, lets go play cars."
and then a small voice coming from the school room says...
"Mawage, mawage is what bwings us togever today..."
Thank you Brittany.
Rebekah knocking on the door...
"Michael, come mawry me"
"Bekah, I am playing cars"
"But Micheal, I need you to mawry me"
"Bekah, I want to play with cars"
(Rebekah states a little more impatiently)
"Michael, you need to come mawry me."
(No answer from Michael)
"Michael, please come mawry me."
(a sigh from in his room, then he opens the door)
"Rebekah, I just want to play cars, I don't want to marry you"
(sad lip pout from Rebekah)
"Michael, why don't you want to mawry me?"
"Bekah, come play cars with me."
"and then you will mawry me?"
(no answer from Michael, but they play happily for a few minutes, then I hear...)
"Michael. Michael. Michael, it IS time to mawry me now"
(Michael comes out of his room and starts walking around the house Rebekah trails him saying...)
"Michael. MICHAEL. MICHAEL, you need to mawry me now. Michael, come mawry me"
(pretty soon Michael comes and hides behind my chair. Rebekah comes to me a few minutes later and says to me...)
"Mommy, wheres Michael?"
"Why?"
"cause he needs to mawry me and I cant find him"
(she finds him under the chair and says in a very mommy type voice...)
"Michael, you need to mawry me, its time."
"OK, Bekah, but then we go play cars k?"
So a few minutes later I hear Justin preforming the ceremony saying...
"Do you want to marry him? Do you want to marry her? k your married, lets go play cars."
and then a small voice coming from the school room says...
"Mawage, mawage is what bwings us togever today..."
Thank you Brittany.
September 17, 2009
Good Day
Today was a good day. A day free of tantrums, well except for that one. A day free of fights, well except for the three this morning. A day free of meltdowns, well except for that one time this afternoon. A day free of messes, except for the spilled milk all over my kitchen and the mud tracked in on my clean floor. A day free of sleepiness, well except for needing a nap at 10am but that's normal right?
Ah, yes a good day. I knew it would be when Rebekah came out of her room with "uMMerware" on voluntarily. Yes any day that starts with underwear on Rebekah's bottom is a good day indeed. I should have just gone to bed then. Full of pride and admiration at the fact that my 3 and half year old put underwear on by herself without being told. Good day. Good day. I mean can you get better then that? Can a day be more fulfilling? Can you top an underwear success? The answer my friends is...
A BIG FAT NO!!!
That my friends is as good as it gets. You cant top that. It is the pinnacle of success, the highlight of my day, no my week. no, no, its the highlight of the year!! Underwear success. You just cant top that.
Ah, yes a good day. I knew it would be when Rebekah came out of her room with "uMMerware" on voluntarily. Yes any day that starts with underwear on Rebekah's bottom is a good day indeed. I should have just gone to bed then. Full of pride and admiration at the fact that my 3 and half year old put underwear on by herself without being told. Good day. Good day. I mean can you get better then that? Can a day be more fulfilling? Can you top an underwear success? The answer my friends is...
A BIG FAT NO!!!
That my friends is as good as it gets. You cant top that. It is the pinnacle of success, the highlight of my day, no my week. no, no, its the highlight of the year!! Underwear success. You just cant top that.
September 9, 2009
Parks, People and Pee
So today started much like any other day. The alarm goes off and in a dreamy state I roll over and hit Coby to get him to turn it off...no Coby...where is Coby and WHY did he NOT turn off his alarm? A few minutes pass and I realize that the incessant buzzing is not going to stop unless I get myself out of my nice warm "cocoon" and turn it off myself!! "where is HE!!" "Why is he doing this to me?" as I emerge from the warm confines of my cocoon I hit his alarm clock...nothing happens. I open my eyes to see there are no lights on and his alarm is not the source of the noise, mine is. AHHHHHHH it cant be time to get up already!!! So noisy alarm mystery and missing husband mystery solved at the same time...I am a genius.
The next task at hand is to wake four lovely chickens from their slumber. (I hope I remember their names...) As I open the 'girl chickens' door I see my youngest chicken perched on her bed and she says to me "why are you here? I thought it was time to sleep?" I say "then why are you up?" "cause I thought it wasn't time to get up" ...Whatever Bekah I haven't had enough coffee to deal with your logic yet. I move on to chicken number 2, she is slightly more reluctant to rise and throws her stuffed bear at me. "Brittany get you stuff for a shower we gotta get going." She rises from her royal bedding and glares at me and says "but I PROMISED myself that I would sleep till 9" I laugh and tell her "in your dreams, we gotta get going I have meetings to get to you need to get in and out of the shower...QUICK!" I move onto the 'boy chickens' room. They both pop out of bed and are dressed and have their beds made before I can even leave the room. I then go back to the 'girl chickens' room and find Rebekah dressed and Brittany STILL picking out her clothes!! "Brittany, you have 15 minutes to be showered and dressed! I am getting your cereal and then getting in the shower." So I move into the kitchen get my fast moving chickens their cereal and then head to the shower. After getting myself ready I then discover that my oldest slow moving chicken is STILL in the shower!! AHHHHH I realise I only have 15 minutes to drop off the chickens and get to my meeting across town and I STILL have not had coffee!!! I tell Rebekah to tell her sister to hurry up and I go start the car. We finally get out of the house and drop the chickens off at grandma chickens house and I leave for FOUR thrilling hours of reviewing foster care placements and making recommendations. Non-stop action for the next four hours.
Next I pick up the chickens and we head home for our art and math for the day. 1 hour later Chicken number 3's grandma comes to get him for his visit. I finish up math with chickens 1 and 2 and then head back to town to drop off chicken number 4 with her grandma and grandpa. Then chickens 1 and 2 and I go to DQ and get a much needed treat and then go pick up chicken number 4.
It was not time to pick up chicken number 3 yet so I thought I would let my chickens be "free range" for a few minutes and took them to the park. I took this few minutes of free time to call my Mom. As I am talking on the phone I see my 4th chicken pull her pants down in middle of the park. I say "I have to call you back" and run to my littlest chicken. Before I can get to her she has squatted, done her thing and pulled her pants back up. I look around to see if anyone saw and then look at her and say "Why did you do that? We don't go potty at the park!" she looks at me all sad and says "cause I had to go potty. cause I thought I could go potty" I stifle a laugh and say "Bekah we don't go potty in the park, you are done playing today" I pick her up marveling at the fact that she managed to do this without making a mess of her pants and being mortified that this is my chicken and there IS another family here and MY DAUGHTER JUST PEED AT THE PARK!!!
And my day just got better and better...
The next task at hand is to wake four lovely chickens from their slumber. (I hope I remember their names...) As I open the 'girl chickens' door I see my youngest chicken perched on her bed and she says to me "why are you here? I thought it was time to sleep?" I say "then why are you up?" "cause I thought it wasn't time to get up" ...Whatever Bekah I haven't had enough coffee to deal with your logic yet. I move on to chicken number 2, she is slightly more reluctant to rise and throws her stuffed bear at me. "Brittany get you stuff for a shower we gotta get going." She rises from her royal bedding and glares at me and says "but I PROMISED myself that I would sleep till 9" I laugh and tell her "in your dreams, we gotta get going I have meetings to get to you need to get in and out of the shower...QUICK!" I move onto the 'boy chickens' room. They both pop out of bed and are dressed and have their beds made before I can even leave the room. I then go back to the 'girl chickens' room and find Rebekah dressed and Brittany STILL picking out her clothes!! "Brittany, you have 15 minutes to be showered and dressed! I am getting your cereal and then getting in the shower." So I move into the kitchen get my fast moving chickens their cereal and then head to the shower. After getting myself ready I then discover that my oldest slow moving chicken is STILL in the shower!! AHHHHH I realise I only have 15 minutes to drop off the chickens and get to my meeting across town and I STILL have not had coffee!!! I tell Rebekah to tell her sister to hurry up and I go start the car. We finally get out of the house and drop the chickens off at grandma chickens house and I leave for FOUR thrilling hours of reviewing foster care placements and making recommendations. Non-stop action for the next four hours.
Next I pick up the chickens and we head home for our art and math for the day. 1 hour later Chicken number 3's grandma comes to get him for his visit. I finish up math with chickens 1 and 2 and then head back to town to drop off chicken number 4 with her grandma and grandpa. Then chickens 1 and 2 and I go to DQ and get a much needed treat and then go pick up chicken number 4.
It was not time to pick up chicken number 3 yet so I thought I would let my chickens be "free range" for a few minutes and took them to the park. I took this few minutes of free time to call my Mom. As I am talking on the phone I see my 4th chicken pull her pants down in middle of the park. I say "I have to call you back" and run to my littlest chicken. Before I can get to her she has squatted, done her thing and pulled her pants back up. I look around to see if anyone saw and then look at her and say "Why did you do that? We don't go potty at the park!" she looks at me all sad and says "cause I had to go potty. cause I thought I could go potty" I stifle a laugh and say "Bekah we don't go potty in the park, you are done playing today" I pick her up marveling at the fact that she managed to do this without making a mess of her pants and being mortified that this is my chicken and there IS another family here and MY DAUGHTER JUST PEED AT THE PARK!!!
And my day just got better and better...
September 8, 2009
tHe enD oF saNitY As wE kNoW iT
Yup, I have officially lost it. My sanity. Gone. Poof. Off into oblivion. I know some of you might be thinking that I lost it a LONG time ago, but I did have some left in the deep caverns of my mind. Its all gone now. Lost forever. Never to return. It happened at approximately 9:38am. I first noticed it when I was trying to explain something to Rebekah in school and Brittany asked me a question and I replied to her with "Just a minute Rebekah." then Micheal asked me something and I said "Just a minute" 10 minutes later I am looking around the table and jump up, I forgot to answer his question!! That is how the morning went. Out first day of school. Coby asked me if I wanted to go to work for him this morning, then quickly said "Wait, you start school today, I don't want to trade, you are crazy." Yes his prophetic words have come true. I am a crazy Mom homeschooling 4 children under the age of 9. and people wonder why I cant remember how many children I have and their names.
September 1, 2009
Danger Will Robinson, Danger!!
Is it bad that I send my children out to play on five lovely acres of woods full of adventure? You are more then likely saying... "Why no Bethany, you are a fantastic mother and you work so hard." so assuming that is what you said, (if it is not just simply go back and re-read that statement out loud.) I will present you with a few facts that may change your mind.
#1 Our property has road on all four sides but across that road it has thousands of acres of forestry land.
#2 We have been known to have bears, mountain lions, wolves, coyote's, and foxes on our land.
#3 The ONLY thing I have EVER worried about when sending the kids out side is the above mentioned #2
So today like many other days I told the three children that asked to play outside they could and pried a book from the grasp of the fourth and sent her outside kicking and screaming. They all came in saying that they wanted me to see the new fort they built. Now this fort was two trees a few boards nailed together, a ladder, and a few tree branches. I am sure the engineer of this project was my eldest son. Very impressive their father and I said and then went on with other things. A few minutes later I hear "DON'T MOVE!!" and I think...hmmmmm could there be a certain animal from the #2 list above? Surly not a Wolf. Surly not a mountain lion. Maybe a bear? As I go to investigate I hear more "DON'T MOVE!!" and "STAY THERE!!" so I am a little concerned now.
As I arrive on seen I see the "fort" collapsed and Justin standing there trying to lift it up. No Michael. hmmmmm.
Upon further investigation I find that the "fort" collapsed onto Michael and he was stuck inside. ohhhh boys. So we get Michael out and Justin says..."I think I may need to re-work a few things." I answer in my head..."Ya think?"
So I ask again: "Is it bad that I let my children have adventures in our woods?" and I think I may add to the #3 spot of fears....Forts collapsing on children.
#1 Our property has road on all four sides but across that road it has thousands of acres of forestry land.
#2 We have been known to have bears, mountain lions, wolves, coyote's, and foxes on our land.
#3 The ONLY thing I have EVER worried about when sending the kids out side is the above mentioned #2
So today like many other days I told the three children that asked to play outside they could and pried a book from the grasp of the fourth and sent her outside kicking and screaming. They all came in saying that they wanted me to see the new fort they built. Now this fort was two trees a few boards nailed together, a ladder, and a few tree branches. I am sure the engineer of this project was my eldest son. Very impressive their father and I said and then went on with other things. A few minutes later I hear "DON'T MOVE!!" and I think...hmmmmm could there be a certain animal from the #2 list above? Surly not a Wolf. Surly not a mountain lion. Maybe a bear? As I go to investigate I hear more "DON'T MOVE!!" and "STAY THERE!!" so I am a little concerned now.
As I arrive on seen I see the "fort" collapsed and Justin standing there trying to lift it up. No Michael. hmmmmm.
Upon further investigation I find that the "fort" collapsed onto Michael and he was stuck inside. ohhhh boys. So we get Michael out and Justin says..."I think I may need to re-work a few things." I answer in my head..."Ya think?"
So I ask again: "Is it bad that I let my children have adventures in our woods?" and I think I may add to the #3 spot of fears....Forts collapsing on children.
