Thoughts on Chickens

So I call my children Chickens. It is VERY helpful when out in public, at a store, park, or just out and about. Nobody says "hey chickens" so when I say those words four little heads pop up and away we go. No shouting out four names. No getting confused as to who your children are. No having to remember your children's names. Just simply shout "alright chickens." or "hey chickens" or even "come on chickens" and they all come running. It really is a great tool, and my chickens er children respond every time, that is until last week.

I was getting ready to leave the house and not wanting to follow in the Anderson tradition of "3 minute warning" "2 minute warning" "1 minute warning" 30 second Warning" I shouted out "come on chickens" and 1, then 2, then 3 chickens er I mean children came running. I waited, and waited, and then shouted "Rebekah Grace I need you to come right now" she then came around the corner and said to me. "Mommy. I thought I was a Rebekah. I thought I was NOT a chicken." So clearly my youngest chicken is slightly confused.

Held for Ransom

This notice is to inform you we have in our possession your Bible.

We are asking only a few things from you.

If you cooperate we will return you Bible to you un-harmed.

These are our demands:

-You must visit your grandchildren 20 times a year.

-Take care of Papa so well that he cries.

-Talk to Mommy 20 minutes everyday.

-Ignore Aunt Heidi trying to talk to you.

-Send your grandkids 3 whole boxes of pears.

-Ride 8 miles on your bike.

-Finish one crossword puzzle everyday for a week.

These are our demands. We will be contacting you do discuss the location of the drop.

Sincerely,

Your Bibles Kidnappers

The End

The end is coming. I feel it in my bones. Like a sailor can feel the storm so I feel the end. Its like the erie calm before a tornado, the unsettling feeling you get when you smell a dead deer in you yard, (ask me later). Its coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it. My parents are leaving and my vacation is ending...

Gone are the days of waking up to tiny voices cuddling with larger voices on the couch. Gone are the days of laying in my PJ's when the kids are playing baseball with, drum roll......NOT ME! Gone are the days of VERY tired happy children crawling into bed. Gone, Gone, Gone.

I am asking myself if they mean to be so cruel. First they make Coby and I keep this "un-keepable" secret, then they come and surprise my children (yes they were surprised in spite of Coby and my slip ups) then they entertain my children for a week, and then they leave.

We have enjoyed having them visit. I have enjoyed my vacation. Now they are leaving and all I can say is....

I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY HEIDI!!!!

The Parents Are Coming! The Parents Are Coming!

My parents are coming up to surprise my chickens for a week. I believe they have placed unnecessary stress on Coby and I to keep this secret. I think that next time they should tell the kids and not us. They are better at keeping secrets then Coby and I. These are some of the "slip-ups" and how we have "covered" ourselves over the past few weeks.
*Just a side note, I have only been the reason for one slip-up, and the "cover-er" of MANY of Coby's. Maybe because he is more excited then me? We shall see.

Slip Up #1
Stated in front of Brittany.
"When your parents get here they are not sleeping on this bed are they?"
"Don't you mean IF they come?"

Slip Up #2
Stated in front of Justin & Michael.
"Is this party today?"
"NOOOOOOOO"
"OH, That's right its when your folks are here."
"NOOOOOOOO, remember they cant come now."
"What?"
"Remember, they cant come because of Dads shoulder?"
"Oh, right"

Slip Up #3
Stated to Rebekah.
"Maybe when Memaw and Papa come they can bring us one"
"DON'T YOU MEAN IF!!!!!!"

Slip Up #4
Stated within ear shot of Rebekah & Brittany.
"So I was thinking when your parents are here we could go Huckleberry picking"
(Angry stare that could bore a hole in his head)
"I mean if there are any left...in November....(the hole is starting to take form)...when they might come...if your Dads shoulder is better...(a hole the size of a huckleberry)...then we could pick some...in November...if they come." (The hole is getting bigger)

Slip Up #5
Stated in passing all children within ear shot.
"So when your...(bigger hole forming)...sister called you....(nice save)

Slip Up #6
Stated to Michael in target when looking for bullets for his Nerf gun.
"Maybe we should have Memaw and Papa bring, I mean send some to us from their Target."

Yes much stress trying to keep this secret...they cant come soon enough!

Then Let Them Eat Cake...

So today, as I lay in bed, I was thinking to myself as I do most days...


"Self, what are you going to do today?"


I answered myself back with a mental list...


-Clean House

-Water Grass

-Wash Towels

-Clean my disaster of a kitchen

-Do laundry

-Clean Out Linen Closet

-P/U Kimi from Kindergarten Camp

-Return Items to Pamida

-Facebook

-Put Laundry Away

-Get Milk

-Figure Out What to do for Breakfast



The last one stumped me. You see we needed milk for cereal, (the only thing Rebekah EVER wants to eat) we needed milk for pancakes, (Justin's Fave) we needed milk for muffins, (my choice) we needed milk for just about anything and we had NO milk. So then I began to think through my day...



"Can I get the house cleaned in an hour and then get milk?" answer: No

"Can I make my children wait till 10 to eat?" answer: Everyone except Justin

"Can I make milk appear out of thin air?" answer: Shockingly No



You see my hands were tied. There was no choice. I had to. And I did. I went to the disaster of a kitchen and in front of my children with mouths wide open and eyes as big as saucers I cut four BIG slices of cake.



They looked at me.

They looked at the cake.

They looked back at me.

They looked back at the cake.

And then the reality that Mom had lost her mind set in. They had better eat it quick before she changes her mind!



So in 2.3 minutes a whole cake was polished off and I was cleaning my house. Good Times Had By All.

Camp Craziness

Brittany goes off to camp for the first time on Monday. This is what my days will look like for the next week...

7:30am- Rebekah wakes up and asks "Wheres my Brittany?"
7:32- I tell her "she is at camp"
7:33- "I want to go"
7:33.5-"Rebekah, you cant go, you have to stay with me."
7:34- "But I need my Brittany"
7:34.5- "Rebekah you can play with Mommy, Michael and Justin."
7:35-"I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed my Brittany."
7:36-(I cant describe on the Internet the interactions from 7:36-7:37)
7:37-Rebekah is on her bed
7:38-Justin wakes up
7:40-Michael wakes up
7:45-Rebekah can join the family again
8:00-Eat Breakfast
8:03-Justin says something like "When Brittany gets home..."
8:03.5-"I NEED MY BRITTANY"
8:06-Rebekah has more "refocus" time (HA what a crock)
and so on and so forth...
Fast forward to:
7:30pm-"Rebekah you need to get your jammies for a bath."
7:31-"and my Brittany?"
7:31- I cringe as I say "no she is at camp."
7:33-you guessed it more "refocus" time. HA
8:01-Pray with Rebekah..."Dear God, thank you for my day and my fambly, and my Brittanys not at camp cause I NEED her. Amen"
8:02-"Rebekah, she will be home soon, she loves you but she needs to be at camp right now"
8:03-"but I NEED HER!"
8:04-"ok Rebekah, I love you good night."
8:10- crying from the girls room...sniff...sob..."Daddy, Mommys not letting my have my Brittany."

Oh yes, cant wait for camp to start.

Lost in Translation

I just thought for those of you whose lives are painfully dull I would share one of my recant conversations in the car. It went a little something like this:

Mommy to Daddy: “You should have me cut your hair tonight.”
Daddy to Mommy: “I think I should too.”
Justin to Mommy: “Mommy, I think you should keep it long cause I can't recognize you with short hair.”
Brittany to Justin: “Mommy looks nice with any hair.”
Rebekah to Mommy: “Mommy I think you should have a mohawk.”

So in a matter of a minute we went from cutting Coby’s hair to me getting a mohawk.

Yup that’s my life.